in the time it takes to surrender

in the time it takes to surrender,
have we missed the boat?
did we wait too long to decide
if we were going to go along for the ride?
perhaps it was the waiting that made the decision for us.
i don’t know.
what i do know is that it doesn’t matter
what would’ve been,
could’ve been.
what matters is what’s here. now.
can we let go of living in fantasy to
embrace what’s…well, real?

in the time it takes to surrender,
what resistances come up to meet you?
what forces try to stop you, or steer you to
move over there instead?
does fear whisper in your ear,
taunting you with sweet lies and brutal “truths?”
only fear will tell you something is 100%.
wisdom knows the nuances, the uncertainty even
in the most certain of circumstances.
that dance with the mystery of life always leaves
an opening for possibility.

in the time it takes to surrender,
have you grieved?
have you followed the crack into the abyss,
that place that seemingly knows no depths?
crying tears of relief and despair,
where we’re brought to our knees and finally give in.
we turn it over to something, anything.
admitting both to ourselves and others
we can’t continue alone. even when no one
shows up, allowing ourselves to befriend
everything that lives inside can create
the inner community before the outer one
falls into place.

in the time it takes to surrender,
i want you to know it’s okay to fight it.
to resist it. to hate it, all the while
longing to let go.
surrendering is simple, not easy.
your tears will carry you along the way.
your cries will call the forces to support you.
your despair will change you.

and then, once you surrender, it’s a
repeated practice.
say thank you to everything that tried to stop you.
it was, after all, only pointing you toward
exactly where you need to be.

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